1. The Coors Lite commercials.

These commercials have infuriated me since the moment I viewed them. The Coors Lite marketing team has two points that they are using to sell their beer. The first point is that it’s cold. Yep, Coors Lite is a great beer because you can drink it when it’s cold. Clearly, this elevates their beer above the level of any other beer. A 34-degree Coors Lite is somehow more special than any other 34-degree beer. You know, because it’s cold.

The second point they’re advertising is refreshment value. That’d be great, except that the phrase they’re using is “Because refreshment isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” This makes me extremely angry, because if something is the only thing, no other things exist, meaning that due to lack of other things, that something is by default everything in addition to being the only thing. Everything and the only thing are one and the same, therefore the only assumption I can draw from their stupid phrase is that whoever is in charge of advertising should be kicked in the face.

2. The Windows/PC Commercials

These commercials suck because the angle they’re taking is “I didn’t have enough money to buy a Mac, so I bought a PC instead.” This implies that, had the consumer had sufficient funding, their first choice would have been a Mac. Actually, one phrase straight out of one of their commercials is “I guess I’m not hip enough to buy a Mac.” Well, guess what? A lot of your potential customers are pretty hip, and you’ve just told them that hip people buy Macs. Bravo, PC marketing team. Bravo.

Other Stuff

As soon as I get pictures from my adventures this last Saturday, a hugely fun story will be posted. You should keep an eye out for it.