Being a Rock Star.

June 7, 2009

This past Saturday (May 30), I had a J-rock themed photoshoot in Portland. I got my hair cut in an asymmetrical, spiky fashion and some purple streaks added. Then I dressed up in a neon blue skirt, purple leggings, and hot pink tank top-thing. Also, I had eye makeup that looked like a box of Froot Loops vomited on me, and purple lipstick. It was pretty great. (pictured below: me being pale)

Me Being Cool
The shoot was for Ms. Jayla’s hair portfolio, as she is working on setting up her own hairstyling business. It takes a lot of skill and patience to make hair as thick as mine behave, so she obviously knows what she’s doing. Comment if you live in Portland and want her contact information.

Anyway! So we (me and two other pretty Asian ladies with fun hair) were doing the shoot. We were getting individual shots before moving on to the group poses. When it wasn’t my turn in front of the camera, I picked up the pretty red electric guitar that Mr. Photographer Andrew brought. It was missing a string and had no amp and produced no noise at all. I stood on the street corner in downtown Portland strumming the soundless guitar and loudly singing Disney songs. In the middle of my “Under the Sea” rendition, a very proper-looking middle-aged lady walked past. She gazed cooly into my face, turned up her nose, and marched on in a snooty fashion. She didn’t even give me a dollar.

I almost choked on my enormous feather earrings from laughing so hard.

Another fun thing: Some hobo took a picture of me on his camera phone. He’s probably introduced the picture to all of his hobo pals as his girlfriend or something. Awesome.

In conclusion, Ms. Jayla the Hair Lady is great, the shoot was great, and it’s a whole lot of fun to strut through downtown Portland dressed like the above.



Leggings are Not Pants.

February 3, 2009

We went to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) on February 1st to see the new Leonardo da Vinci exhibit, which was pretty neat. But that isn’t what this post is about. This post is about people-watching, which OMSI happens to be most excellent for.

Firstly, I would like to say that fat people are great. They are frequently jolly and almost always fun to hug (assuming that they are hygenic), and I have no issue with fat people. I do, however, have an issue with massively obese people who wear skintight, skimpy clothing. I do not wish to see your rolls of fat, many of which are literally individually larger than my thigh, escaping from over the top of your eight-sizes-too-small miniskirt and protruding from beneath your spandex tube top. It’s gross.

Another thing that is gross is when people wear leggings as pants. Wearing them under skirts or dresses is one thing. I’m not a fan of the style, but neither does it anger me. Wearing leggings as pants is another thing entirely, unless you have the body to do so, and not a single person I’ve seen wearing leggings as pants does. In fact, every single person I’ve seen wearing leggings as pants has been at least moderately overweight, and the leggings only serve to accentuate their blobby curves of fat by squeezing them in awkward ways. I don’t understand why they can’t wear jeans. Srsly.

I also don’t understand the sorts of people who let their 7-year-old daughters wear teeny-tiny skirts and tight tank tops and makeup. I understand the desire to be physically appealing, yes, but what kind of parents want their prepubescent daughters objectified in that manner? Not to mention that it just looks completely ridiculous, since they’re, y’know, prepubescent.

On a topic that is dissimilar in that it does not involve clothing but is similar in that it involves people I’d like to smack, I attended a city council meeting with my dad on Monday. Certain people on the city council want to spend $300,000+, not including land value which is another $270,000 or so, on a new skate park. The city of Wilsonville does not have that money to spend, but a certain woman on the city council is adamant that a new skate park is absolutely required. Her logic, or lack thereof, went like this:

“We need a new skate park.”
“Because the old skate park is unsafe.”
“Why is the old skate park unsafe?”
“Lack of visibility. If somebody falls and gets hurt, nobody will see them. Also, vandalism.”
“Serious vandalism?”
“Well no, not really. But there is a hole in the side of one of the ramps.”
“That’s because it’s made of wood and is eight years old.”
“Well, lack of visibility is still a serious issue.”
“How so?”
“Because it’s not highly visible. People will fall and get hurt and nobody will see them. And if it’s more visible, vandalism won’t happen either.”
“That does sound pretty serious. Maybe we should close the park until a new one is built so that nobody will get hurt during that time.”
“Well, it isn’t that dangerous.”
“It isn’t?”
“Well, no. The police have the area pretty well covered.”
“So it’s not dangerous due to location?”
“Not really.”
“Then why don’t we renovate the old skate park instead of building a whole new one?”
“Because it’s not a good place for a skate park to be.”
“Why not?”
“Lack of visibility. And vandalism.”


Her other main argument was that “Every kid I know has a skateboard, so a skate park is a necessary asset to the community.” As my dad says, “Every kid I know has a bicycle, but you’re not building a velodrome…”

What’s frightening is that the majority of people on the council agree with her opinion of the necessity of a new skate park. So they’re likely going to spend $300,000 that they don’t have plus $270,000 worth of land to make the estimated ~870 potential skateboarders in Wilsonville happy, when we already have a functional skate park and the library is closing due to lack of funding. Genius, guys.

People bug me.