Mommy Day.

May 11, 2009

I hope you all hugged your mothers, or wives if you’re male and have a wife with children, and told them you love them! If you didn’t, and they’re upset with you and you can’t figure out why, it’s probably because you forgot about Mother’s Day. You horrible person.

I hugged my mom, because I’m a good daughter like that. I also gave her a box of chocolate (but that’s on the down-low so she doesn’t have to share; don’t tell my dad…) Kael did not give me any chocolate, except for the kind he makes himself. It didn’t smell really great, so I decided to just change his diaper and throw it away and give him a kiss on his soft little head. He’s a warm, snuggly little sweetheart, chocolate or no.

We went on a brunch cruise on the Willamette Star with my grandparents. Maybe “brunch” is an inappropriate noun to be applied to the supposedly edible things on board; “yuck” might be more suited. Kael behaved perfectly and got to steer the ship (touch the steering wheel while the captain moved it around) and got a certificate naming him “Captain Kael” to prove it. It’s cute.

I am now returning to graphics-making for Wilsonville Honda. THE END



Recent Life, in Pictures

April 29, 2009

We attended my Auntie Jen’s wedding. The title of this post is a bit of a lie, as I have no pictures for this event. Dad has the camera’s memory card and is not at home, you see. Let me assure you that, despite lack of photographic evidence, my baby Kael looked exceedingly handsome in his sweater vest.

We went to playoff game number two between the Portland Trail Blazers and the Houston Rockets. We had floor seats and they were really sweet. People seated on the floor can get a whole pint of ice cream hand-delivered to them for $4.50! My sister and I split a mint chocolate chip. Portland won after a hard-fought game and it was really great to watch. They’re playing game 5 tonight – best of luck to Portland! (Pictured: Me and my sister being our sexy selves.)


Baby Kael is getting very big. He’ll be 10 weeks old on Thursday. He’s been grumpy since getting his shots last week, but he still smiles and coos and does cute baby things. (Pictured: Baby Kael.)

He's ready to NOM NOM NOM

Speaking of Baby Kael, he is an extremely expensive little boy. Since I’m working fairly irregularly at Wilsonville Honda, and being a guide at ChaCha pays around $3 an hour, I’m busily looking for new sources of income. I’m in the process of creating my website, which will be linked here when complete for all to enjoy. Hurrah.

I’m going to end with a ridiculous video I put together for my sister. Her assignment was to create a commercial for a book. She chose The Luxe, by Anna Godbersen. I wrote out a whole script that we filmed, but we ended up using only four scenes, so yay for superfluous work… Also, I voiced over everything because we realized after we were done filming everything that the mics really didn’t work that well.

A Baby.

February 22, 2009

Kael Matthias Johnstone.

Born 7 pounds, 10 ounces and 20.25 inches long on February 19 at 1:17 AM.

11 hours of labor, 13 minutes of pushing, no pain meds.

I now need to lose approximately 20 pounds. Hooray Wii Fit?


…was opening presents from my Great Aunt Penny.

She’s a wonderful person, sweet and kind and very thoughtful, in a “what on earth was she thinking?” sort of way. I have to wonder what, specifically, was going through her mind when she decided that four tiny plastic flamingo replicas and a lump of green foam would be a perfect present for my dad. The package actually tried to commit suicide in the Christmas tree’s water prior to being opened, but my sister rescued it. (The quote “You didn’t save my life, you ruined my death!” from Pixar’s “The Incredibles” comes to mind.) Anyway, she dried it off as best she could (not very well at all, really) and re-wrapped it, leaving my dad with a gross, soggy mass of foam, four drowned flamingos, and a thoroughly saturated mini-booklet which explained how to mix drinks. Nobody in my family drinks at all, as Great Aunt Penny is well aware…

Other hilarious presents included a “fashion brooch” – a pewter teapot with tiny silverware hanging off the bottom – for my mom; a gingerbread man pin dripping green glitter and a National Geographic Kids magazine printed in 2003 for my brother; and a box of long-expired chocolate for my dad. I, sadly, did not unwrap anything nearly so entertaining, but I think my sister’s gift well made up for that. Because my sister received…

A tiny purple hippopotamus wearing a tutu.

I’m not even joking.


I really don’t know what to say about this. It’s a tiny hippopotamus. In a tutu. And it’s purple.

Entirely related:

In other news, the Portland Trail Blazers beat the Toronto Raptors tonight (December 27; GMT is silly) 102-89. I learned that “Raptors” refers to dinosaurs, not large birds of prey. I wish Portland’s mascot was a dinosaur, that’d be pretty sweet. Or even a purple hippopotamus. Instead we have “Blaze, the Trail Cat.” I thought it was a wolf for a really long time. And what do cats have to do with the blazing of trails, anyway?

To finish this post, here’s Travis Outlaw’s very impressive more-than-half-court shot at the buzzer.



December 25, 2008

Yesterday at 8:02 AM, I magically transformed into an adult and it was super fun and exciting. Or would have been, I’m sure, if I hadn’t slept in ’til 11:15. Anyway, at 8:01, I was only a silly child. Then the minute hand twitched, and a wave of maturity washed over my unconscious, possibly drooling form. With my newfound, instantaneous understanding of the world, I suddenly became fit to vote, be put in prison, go to war, and do all sorts of other awesome adult-ish things other than drinking beer. (Seriously, how does that work? I can legally kill people on behalf of America, but I can’t have a drink to celebrate afterwards. I guess I won’t be mature enough to understand that one for another three years.)

You can tell I'm grown-up now because I have a mustache.Behold, the transformation from irresponsible child to completely mature and super serious adult!

I celebrated this momentous event by doing… well, not very much, actually. I slept in, as previously stated, and then got up and ate a waffle and started my laundry. My grandparents came over around 1:30 so my parents could do some last-minute shopping. I entertained them with some of my favorite YouTube clips that grandparents would appreciate, such as:

Dolphins Playing with Bubble Rings
Ninja Cat
Human Tetris
Cat on a Roomba

Also, I recently discovered a show called Wipeout! which is basically the American version of Ninja Warrior. Highly entertaining. It would be loads of fun to commentate for that.

We had a delicious dinner of wonton soup courtesy of my fantastic mom, and then got down to cake and presents. My cake was extremely pretty and I sort of felt bad to cut it up and eat it. But not that bad, because after all, it was chocolate.


And now, on to the loot!

My brother gave me two pairs of fluffy socks to wear around the house. From my sister and her bunny, who apparently think I smell, I got some body sprays and lotions. My grandparents very generously replenished my supply of Chanel mascara, and included a gift certificate to Nordstroms. From my parents, I got some… nursing tops… which totally weren’t embarrassing to open in front of my 10-year-old brother. Also, a haircut at some later date from our expensive but amazing favorite hair-cutting lady, and a wireless mouse for my recently repaired laptop. I would have gotten presents from my great-aunt as well, but the box of gifts she shipped over seems to have disappeared. We’ll have to go looking for those sometime.

Overall: A+ birthday, would celebrate again.