Caitlin's Blog.

Whale Wars.

Caitlin — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 05:42:05 +0000

Whale Wars is a show which airs on Animal Planet. It deals with the adventures of the hugely incompetent and vastly irritating crew of the Steve Irwin, which is a terrible name for a ship considering that Steve Irwin died in a freak accident. The crew is a group of vigilantes which have taken it upon themselves to hunt down Japanese whaling ships and throw rancid butter at them. They do so in an incompetent fashion, perpetually saying and doing stupid things and generally just looking like a bunch of dummies.

I hate this show and pretty much everyone on it. Everything about this show is infuriating and it needs to be taken off the air. Also legal action should probably be taken because vigilante action isn’t the way to go. I’m not condoning whaling in any way, by the way. I just hate this show.

-Caitlin

RAGE.

Caitlin — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:09:27 +0000

Today, I thought it would be nice to take Baby Kael outside.

I took him outside.

I sat on the ground.

I put him on my lap.

Otto, the dumber of our two German shepherds, walked up to us. He sniffed Kael in greeting.

He spit something on Kael’s foot.

Upon initial examination, all I could think was “crushed olive.” It looked just like a smushed black olive. Except that there was some mushy white stuff oozing from it.

And then I saw the legs.

Otto spit a chewed beetle on Kael’s foot.

I had to pick it off bare-handed.

Why do these things happen to me?

-Caitlin

Being a Rock Star.

Caitlin — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 21:05:27 +0000

This past Saturday (May 30), I had a J-rock themed photoshoot in Portland. I got my hair cut in an asymmetrical, spiky fashion and some purple streaks added. Then I dressed up in a neon blue skirt, purple leggings, and hot pink tank top-thing. Also, I had eye makeup that looked like a box of Froot Loops vomited on me, and purple lipstick. It was pretty great. (pictured below: me being pale)

The shoot was for Ms. Jayla’s hair portfolio, as she is working on setting up her own hairstyling business. It takes a lot of skill and patience to make hair as thick as mine behave, so she obviously knows what she’s doing. Comment if you live in Portland and want her contact information.

Anyway! So we (me and two other pretty Asian ladies with fun hair) were doing the shoot. We were getting individual shots before moving on to the group poses. When it wasn’t my turn in front of the camera, I picked up the pretty red electric guitar that Mr. Photographer Andrew brought. It was missing a string and had no amp and produced no noise at all. I stood on the street corner in downtown Portland strumming the soundless guitar and loudly singing Disney songs. In the middle of my “Under the Sea” rendition, a very proper-looking middle-aged lady walked past. She gazed cooly into my face, turned up her nose, and marched on in a snooty fashion. She didn’t even give me a dollar.

I almost choked on my enormous feather earrings from laughing so hard.

Another fun thing: Some hobo took a picture of me on his camera phone. He’s probably introduced the picture to all of his hobo pals as his girlfriend or something. Awesome.

In conclusion, Ms. Jayla the Hair Lady is great, the shoot was great, and it’s a whole lot of fun to strut through downtown Portland dressed like the above.

-Caitlin

Two Horrible Commercials that make me Angry.

Caitlin — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 01:40:22 +0000

1. The Coors Lite commercials.

These commercials have infuriated me since the moment I viewed them. The Coors Lite marketing team has two points that they are using to sell their beer. The first point is that it’s cold. Yep, Coors Lite is a great beer because you can drink it when it’s cold. Clearly, this elevates their beer above the level of any other beer. A 34-degree Coors Lite is somehow more special than any other 34-degree beer. You know, because it’s cold.

The second point they’re advertising is refreshment value. That’d be great, except that the phrase they’re using is “Because refreshment isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” This makes me extremely angry, because if something is the only thing, no other things exist, meaning that due to lack of other things, that something is by default everything in addition to being the only thing. Everything and the only thing are one and the same, therefore the only assumption I can draw from their stupid phrase is that whoever is in charge of advertising should be kicked in the face.

2. The Windows/PC Commercials

These commercials suck because the angle they’re taking is “I didn’t have enough money to buy a Mac, so I bought a PC instead.” This implies that, had the consumer had sufficient funding, their first choice would have been a Mac. Actually, one phrase straight out of one of their commercials is “I guess I’m not hip enough to buy a Mac.” Well, guess what? A lot of your potential customers are pretty hip, and you’ve just told them that hip people buy Macs. Bravo, PC marketing team. Bravo.

Other Stuff

As soon as I get pictures from my adventures this last Saturday, a hugely fun story will be posted. You should keep an eye out for it.

-Caitlin

Ice Cream.

Caitlin — Fri, 29 May 2009 05:33:28 +0000

We convinced my mom to let us have some ice cream tonight. Initially, joy ensued.

Since I was holding my baby, I asked my sister to get me some ice cream while she was getting hers. She decided instead to play with the baby while he was sitting on my lap, but was not interested in holding him so I could get ice cream for us. I did not get any ice cream.

Later, she went to get ice cream for herself. I asked for some, still holding my baby (he never lets me put him down when he’s awake) and she said, “No.”

I asked again about half an hour later. She asked me what flavor I would like. I asked what flavors we had. She muttered something and returned to the computer. I did not find out what flavors we had.

Another half hour or so later, I asked about available flavors again. She rattled a few off, none of which I enjoy, and ended with “Udderly Chocolate.” I’m a big fan of Udderly Chocolate, so I asked for some. She brought me a cup of Mudslide, which I find too chocolatey. I said, “This is not Udderly Chocolate.” She said, “Oops. I thought something was wrong when I was scooping it, because I was thinking that you don’t like Mudslide.” I said, “Yes. So may I have some Udderly Chocolate?” She replied, “We don’t have any.” She then grumpily requested my help with math.

I am devastated, I feel rather used, and I still don’t have any ice cream. Also, I have some major mosquito bites. This evening sucks.

-Caitlin

Muppetville.

Caitlin — Thu, 21 May 2009 00:34:07 +0000

I thought – and Google is backing me up on this – that Muppetville was that fun little place where the Muppets lived. Turns out it’s some little town in the UK that I can find absolutely no information on, but in exchange for money I need to write ten different articles about renting generators and each article must contain the keyword phrase “generator hire Muppetville,” among others. Can you use that phrase in a sentence that makes sense, without copping out and writing about how you can put it in a search engine? Let me know if you can, because I need to write these articles and I’ve used my “PUT IT IN A SEARCH ENGINE, LOL” quota.

Four and a half articles complete, five-point-five to go. Awesome.

-Caitlin

Mommy Day.

Caitlin — Mon, 11 May 2009 16:32:09 +0000

I hope you all hugged your mothers, or wives if you’re male and have a wife with children, and told them you love them! If you didn’t, and they’re upset with you and you can’t figure out why, it’s probably because you forgot about Mother’s Day. You horrible person.

I hugged my mom, because I’m a good daughter like that. I also gave her a box of chocolate (but that’s on the down-low so she doesn’t have to share; don’t tell my dad…) Kael did not give me any chocolate, except for the kind he makes himself. It didn’t smell really great, so I decided to just change his diaper and throw it away and give him a kiss on his soft little head. He’s a warm, snuggly little sweetheart, chocolate or no.

We went on a brunch cruise on the Willamette Star with my grandparents. Maybe “brunch” is an inappropriate noun to be applied to the supposedly edible things on board; “yuck” might be more suited. Kael behaved perfectly and got to steer the ship (touch the steering wheel while the captain moved it around) and got a certificate naming him “Captain Kael” to prove it. It’s cute.

I am now returning to graphics-making for Wilsonville Honda. THE END

-Caitlin

Freelancing.

Caitlin — Tue, 05 May 2009 23:57:47 +0000

I got a job as a freelance writer, beginning May 18th. I’ll be in training for a few weeks, then I’ll move to full work and pay. It will be awesome and of great assistance in my quest to pay off bills and get a car. It will also look great on my resume and will give me lots of experience prior to returning to Willamette in the fall. I will be the best and most efficient essay writer ever.

On a related note, I’m currently offering editing services via the internet and PayPal. It’s cheap. You should hire me. c:

Seriously, though: wildsnorlaxappeared@hotmail.com
Give me money and things to edit, because I’m worth it.

-Caitlin

Recent Life, in Pictures

Caitlin — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:14:31 +0000

We attended my Auntie Jen’s wedding. The title of this post is a bit of a lie, as I have no pictures for this event. Dad has the camera’s memory card and is not at home, you see. Let me assure you that, despite lack of photographic evidence, my baby Kael looked exceedingly handsome in his sweater vest.

We went to playoff game number two between the Portland Trail Blazers and the Houston Rockets. We had floor seats and they were really sweet. People seated on the floor can get a whole pint of ice cream hand-delivered to them for $4.50! My sister and I split a mint chocolate chip. Portland won after a hard-fought game and it was really great to watch. They’re playing game 5 tonight – best of luck to Portland! (Pictured: Me and my sister being our sexy selves.)

Baby Kael is getting very big. He’ll be 10 weeks old on Thursday. He’s been grumpy since getting his shots last week, but he still smiles and coos and does cute baby things. (Pictured: Baby Kael.)

Speaking of Baby Kael, he is an extremely expensive little boy. Since I’m working fairly irregularly at Wilsonville Honda, and being a guide at ChaCha pays around $3 an hour, I’m busily looking for new sources of income. I’m in the process of creating my website, which will be linked here when complete for all to enjoy. Hurrah.

I’m going to end with a ridiculous video I put together for my sister. Her assignment was to create a commercial for a book. She chose The Luxe, by Anna Godbersen. I wrote out a whole script that we filmed, but we ended up using only four scenes, so yay for superfluous work… Also, I voiced over everything because we realized after we were done filming everything that the mics really didn’t work that well.

Outright Sexiness.

Caitlin — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:18:43 +0000

So I turned in my DS Lite and got a pretty new black Nintendo DSi. Then I put a skin on it which I ordered from the internet. The result: Outright sexiness. I also dyed my hair black, though that was unrelated to the purchasing of the DSi. Here is a picture of all three: the DSi, the skin, and my awesome hair:

The picture was taken with one of the DSi’s two cameras. It has a camera on the outside and another on the inside below the top screen. The camera quality is relatively decent, comparable to the iPhone. Also like the iPhone, the DSi has a web browser. It’s slow and requires an unlocked wireless network, but it is a browser, and it’s convenient to use thanks to the touchscreen. The DSi also has a sound recorder and editor and downloadable content. It’s thinner and has a larger screen than its predecessor. My only complaints when compared to the Nintendo DS Lite are the power and volume buttons. The power button is somewhat inconveniently placed, and I prefer the wheel sound control rather than buttons. Overall, though, a nice upgrade and I feel sort of awesome for owning it.

Unrelated: I’ve been noticing a lot of this lately, so I’m going to say something. APOSTROPHES DO NOT GO ON PLURAL NOUNS.

That will be all.

-Caitlin